


Once in a Lifetime

by FallacyFallacy



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Community: homesmut, Dramatic Irony, Family, Friendship, Gen, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-29
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-17 07:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallacyFallacy/pseuds/FallacyFallacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk is just so very mysterious when it comes to his home life, so when Jane happens upon a certain Dave Strider walking down the street, she jumps at the chance to speak with him. </p>
<p>Written for <a href="http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/38671.html?thread=40194831#cmt40194831">this prompt</a> for <a href="http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/">the Homestuck kink meme</a>: <i>Jane meets either Alpha Dave or Alpha Rose at a SBAHJ movie premiere/Complacency of the Learned book signing/whatever. And Jane is so happy to meet one of her friend's guardian that she of course strikes up a conversation about the friend in question.</i><br/><i>So Jane ends up having a very strange conversation with either Alpha Dave or Alpha Rose that is full of hidden meaning, and while she might get suspicious, she never learns that the guardian in question has never actually met their kid, no matter how oddly they react to some of the stuff she says/what weird stuff they ask her.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Once in a Lifetime

Something caught at Jane’s eye. She turned instinctively, and it took a few moments to realise what had captured her attention.

Dave Strider was walking down the street. He looked just as he usually did, dressed in clothes that were undeniably casual and which on anyone else would look scruffy but which on him screamed _cool_. And, of course, in front of his eyes sat those signature shades – he was almost never seen without them, to the point where they were the source of a good deal of urban legend and jokes on the internet.

She broke into a grin. Although she’d seen him on TV countless times, she’d never actually met him in person, as no matter how many times she suggested she and Dirk meet up, he would always wave her off. She didn’t even realise he was in Washington – maybe there was someone he was meeting to talk about a new movie or something? But if she couldn’t manage to talk to Dirk in person, well, surely his brother would be a good enough substitute for now!

“Dad!” She stopped walking, trying to keep him in her sight without looking suspicious. “That’s Dirk’s brother!”

Dad raised his eyebrows. “I see. Did you want to talk to him?”

Jane nodded – they were on their way home, anyway, so a little detour wouldn’t matter. “Yeah! I guess I’ll-“ She smiled and then turned, making her way through the crowd quickly.

“Um, hello? Mr. Strider!” she called, finally spying him again. The man ignored her – he probably thought she was just another fan, Jane thought with a wince. “Um, sorry to bother you, but – I’m a friend of your brother!”

Dave Strider stopped cold. Jane stumbled a little, slowing to a walk. Expression totally blank (and wow that was actually a lot more intimidating in real life than just on the telly), he turned to her.

“What.”

“Er…” Jane coughed a little into her hand. “I’m a friend of Dirk’s! Jane.” She held out her hand without thinking.

For a few long moments he stared at her. Just when Jane was beginning to wonder whether Dirk and his brother had gotten into some sort of fight or something, he finally shook her hand. With an indecipherable tone of voice he said, “Jane Crocker.”

Jane beamed. “So he did tell you about me! It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!”

Dave grunted in response, his entire presence not shifting slightly from where he stood staring at her. Jane shifted, feeling oddly as though the man were piercing a hole right through her. It was more than a little unnerving coming from a near stranger, but in a way, it almost seemed kind of familiar. Dirk himself had a strange way of exuding quiet intensity through the most normal of comments and the thought that this was what she would receive when they finally managed to meet up kind of pleased her a little. Dirk wasn’t exactly the most open guy and any anything new she could learn about him felt like an achievement. Just the thought made her forget her nervousness in anticipation of all she could learn from his mysterious brother.

“So I’ve heard you’re the brother of my daughter’s friend.” Behind Jane, dad walked forward, also extending his hand to Dave. He took it hesitantly, and to Jane’s relief targeted him as well with that queer intense look. Must just be a family thing, then.

“Sorry,” Jane said somewhat nervously, “if you’re busy, you don’t have to-“

“No,” Dave said suddenly, with a firmness that almost made Jane jump. “No, it’s fine. You’re not busy?”

“No, we were just heading home.”

“We should go get a coffee. Talk a bit.”

“Er, sure!” Jane smiled, shrugging. “That sounds great!” She turned to her dad, who also nodded. “Um, got anywhere in mind, or…?”

“Anywhere’s cool.” Abruptly Dave spun on his heel and started walking; with a shrug at her dad, Jane followed.

“So! Uh, what brings you to Washington, then? Or is it a secret and you’re not allowed to tell anyone?”

“Just movie stuff. Not really interesting.”

“Oh.” Jane bit her lip. “I guess Dirk stayed at home then? He didn’t say he was leaving.”

“Yeah.” Dave suddenly stopped at the door of a nondescript café and pushed the door open. After a moment he added, “Yeah, he usually does.”

“That would make sense. Your job must involve a lot of traveling, yes? But Dirk seems almost always online…”

“Want anything? I’ll pay.”

“That’s all right,” Dad said as Jane rushed to protest as well. “We don’t mind paying ourselves. In fact, since we came up to you, it should be our treat.”

Dave opened his mouth but then shook his head, shrugging. “Sure, whatever. Gimme an espresso. Black.”

They hunkered down at a table in the back corner; probably because Dave didn’t want to be recognized, Jane reasoned. When they sat down, Dirk’s brother gave her another one of those incomprehensible stares, then glanced at dad, then back at her. His eyes drifted downwards and Jane flushed before realizing he was looking at her shirt – a Betty Crocker brand one, today.

“Are you a fan, too?” she asked excitedly.

Dave let out a humph and glanced away. “Not quite.”

Jane frowned. Well, that was a little rude! But it was Dirk’s brother so she let it go. Dirk could be a little brusque, too, at times.

“So. Dirk.” Dave turned to her, an edge to his voice that Jane hadn’t heard before – not from him or anyone else. “How is he.”

“Oh, he’s good. How long have you been apart?”

“A while.”

Jane pursed her lips. “Um, well, yes, he’s doing well. He’s getting close to completing that new project of his, though that’s about as much as I understand of it all, hoo hoo!”

“Project?”

“You know – the robot? He’s been working on it for about…wow, six months, is it?.”

“Oh, that.”

Jane nodded slowly. Um, okay?

“What else?”

“Well, Roxy convinced him to play this game and he just can’t stop talking about it – I think he’s trying to crack the entire thing inside and out! It’s funny how he never really plays much, but whenever he does get into something, he ends up getting really obsessed over it, isn’t it?”

Dave nodded. The intensity was back, his movements oddly twitchy. The waitress brought their coffees and he barely flicked a glance at her before he was staring at Jane again.

“And Roxy? How’s she?”

“Well…” Jane forced a smile. “She’s doing well, too!”

Dave raised an eyebrow. “You’re lying.”

“Huh?” Jane blushed, glancing away. That was…forward. “Um, well. I guess she’s said some strange things lately, but that’s all.”

“What things?”

“Nothing important. Just nonsense.”

Dave’s face was impassive. Jane felt like a naughty schoolgirl sat in front of the principal.

“Just some conspiracy theories. That’s all.”

“Huh.” Dave turned away from her for a moment and Jane relaxed. He seemed to think for a moment, but whether he reached a conclusion or not Jane couldn’t say before he was watching her again. “What else?”

“Well, like I said, there was that game she was playing. And she’s been writing more fanfiction lately, though she still insists on not letting me read it!”

“For what?”

“Well, Conspiracy of the Learned, of course! She’s still downright obsessed with that thing, even now. I found it a bit too dense, myself, but it must be good if it’s managed to hold her attention for all these years. Well, I guess it makes sense since her mom wrote it – I guess maybe it’s the same way I feel about Betty Crocker products!” Jane beamed but Dave’s expression, before blank, now seemed oddly strained.

“She looks up to her?”

“Oh, yes! Very much! She always speaks of her so very highly – she wants to be just like her, I think!” Jane smiled a little to herself. “It’s a little…I don’t know. Nice? To see. She really is a good girl.”

Dave swallowed noticeably.

“Do you know her? Rose Lalonde? I’ve heard you’ve been seen together a few times, but the press is so very unreliable.”

“Yeah. We’re good friends, actually.”

“Really? Heh, small world! Strange, though – Roxy and Dirk never mentioned that.”

“Does Dirk talk about me, then?”

Jane sipped at her coffee. Since the waitress arrived, Dave still hadn’t even glanced at his coffee.

“Yep! Not as much, I guess – you know how secretive that boy is – but he also speaks very highly of you whenever you’re brought up. He clearly loves you a lot.”

Dave paused, and Jane felt the tension in the air thicken even further.

“He does?”

“Yes, of course.” Jane furrowed her brow with concern and before she could stop herself, she asked, “Have you two had a fight? Um, not that it’s any of my business, I guess… But he clearly cares for you very dearly, I can say that for sure.”

“Yeah. Yeah, something like that.” Dave looks away again, jaw working. “And the puppets?”

“Huh?”

“He’s into puppets, right?”

“Well, of course. He’s always going on about this or that puppet he’s been working on. Lately, not so much, because of the project and all, but still, it’d take more than _that_ to tear Dirk away from his puppets!” Jane smiled. “It’s all a little odd, and I know Jake and Roxy don’t much know what to think, but I think it’s actually kind of interesting! In a way, it actually kind of suits him, you know? He does give off that air of a puppet master at times…!”

“…just a question, but…” Dave scratches the back of his neck. “You don’t recognize the name ‘Lil’ Cal’, do you?”

“Um, yes! Isn’t that – Dirk’s favourite puppet? Whom he’s had since he was little?” Jane leaned back, more than a little confused. Exactly how estranged were these two?

“Yeah. Just wasn’t sure if he’d mentioned him,” Dave said smoothly and Jane hummed a little in acknowledgement. But even then, she couldn’t help a kernel of doubt niggling.

“But yes, he really loves that puppet very much. I think he thinks of it as sort of like another brother!” Jane shook her head, unable to resist a smile again. “Honestly, I’ve seen a picture and I think it looks a little creepy, but it clearly means a lot to Dirk!”

“Best fuckin’ description I ever heard,” Dave said. Jane giggled a little, shifting slightly.

“So the three of you talk a lot?” he said after a moment.

“Yes, and Jake, too! Whenever we can!”

“Right. Of course. So how’d you meet?”

“Oh, well, Roxy and Dirk messaged the two of us first and Jake and I met that way. She said at the time it was something about pumpkins, but a little while ago I met someone else on pesterchum who claims _she_ gave Roxy and Dirk our chumhandles, but she’s a little mysterious in the first place and she won’t tell me why, so I’m not sure that I believe her!”

“Yeah? What’s her name?”

“I don’t know! That’s the thing – she refuses to say!” Jane threw her hands up in the air. “It’s all very odd! But I have to admit, I enjoy a bit of a puzzle. Not that I know how to figure out anything about her…but I’m sure someday she’ll slip and I’ll deduce it!”

“Huh.” For the first time, Dave seemed uninterested. Jane wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed. “Sounds cool.”

“Yes.”

“So does he have enough to eat? Dirk, I mean.”

“Uh, I assume so?” Jane frowned, the kernel shaking underneath the soil. Was that…really an issue? How long had these too been apart? Dave said they had had a fight, but that still didn’t seem to explain it all. Something was off, but even thinking about it made Jane uncomfortable. She forced herself to focus on the conversation, as the idea of blowing that off felt like an even worse choice.

“He doesn’t really talk about it much…he never really seems all that interested in food, really? Hard as that is to understand!” Jane nodded earnestly – no matter how many times she brought up her baking, Dirk never seemed more than politely interested. It was downright weird, and she had to admit that now and then she wondered whether he was eating properly. “I think as long as he has his orange soda he’s pretty happy!”

“Orange soda?”

“Drinks it all the time! You must spend a fortune on it.”

“I’m sure.”

Dave stared at her, falling silent. Jane glanced at her dad, but he merely looked back neutrally.

The kernel was still there, almost pulsing with potential. Jane clasped and unclasped her hands. No! This wasn’t the time to get into sleuthing mode – even if there was something going on here between these two, clearly it was something Dirk didn’t want her to know. She was just being nosy, as usual.

And yet… Dirk’s brother didn’t seem to want to tell her either, did he? So it wasn’t like he would tell her anything important. So if she just found out a little thing here or there, she could know better what Dirk needed…

“Um…so! Is it hard being away from Dirk, then? You must travel a lot, I guess…”

Dave finally looked away from her, head dipping as though he were staring at his hands clasped together on the table. Jane jumped, startled. Eyes wide, she watched him – for just a fraction of a second, she thought she saw something in Dave that she really, really wasn’t meant to see. A shiver ran down her spine and she immediately regretted saying anything at all. But before she could respond, it was gone, Dirk’s brother’s mask firmly in place once more. 

He looked up at her again, expression perfectly blank. “Yeah. It is.”

Jane shifted again. She didn’t know what was going on, but it didn’t feel exciting and intriguing. Honestly, she felt like she was handling a delicate object with her bare hands and she didn’t even know what shape it was.

But when she thought about that look Dave had had just then… she couldn’t just leave this. Not now. 

“I could…pass you a message, if you wanted?” she suggested tentatively. “Um, unless you can just do that yourself…”

Dave paused for a long time. “No, that sounds good.”

“Okay! What did you want me to say, then?”

Dave sighed, looking away again. He seemed heavy all of a sudden – tired. She could see a twitch just above his glasses where his brow was furrowing, fingers curling into fists on the table. He looked here and there, left and right, mouth a thin, thin line, though something told Jane he wasn’t seeing anything in front of him.

It hit her, then, and she only barely resisted the urge to slap her forehead at not realizing earlier. That weird intensity Dirk’s brother had brought to the conversation so far wasn’t because of her, it was because of Dirk.

She watched him. As she had suspected, his attention had completely shifted; he didn’t seem to notice her at all. Now that she understood, it came so much more clearly – the way his fingers tensed and relaxed on the table, the way his jaw was shifting, the way he swallowed, hard. Dave Strider was thinking harder about this question than, quite possibly, any other he had heard in his life.

It…made Jane feel a little small, really.

What had happened to cause this? Were they really so far apart from one another that this was the only way Dave could talk to him? Did Dirk hate him? Had something happened between them? She had been thinking of a fight, but what if it was worse? Much worse? Dirk could be cynical, but she couldn’t believe he would cut off communication with him for something small. What could possibly be bad enough?

She honestly had no idea. Dirk was one of her best friends in the whole world and she didn’t know such an important thing – something of clearly monumental significance to his brother. Dirk hardly ever brought up his family, which she always thought was just him being typically inscrutable, but maybe it was something about Jane.

She tried to think of a question someone else would ask her that she would take so seriously, but she couldn’t think of anything.

Finally, Dave turned his gaze to her. Jane couldn’t tell how she knew since, with those confounded shades and all, he could just as easily have been looking somewhere else entirely, but she tensed in anticipation.

“Tell him…” He breathed in, tongue darting out just a second to touch his lips. “Tell him…I love him.”

Jane shivered. Slowly, she nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

“Cool.”

Dave shrugged a little, as though trying to shake off his earlier seriousness, but the glass had already been shattered. “Guess I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Um, sure,” Jane said, and beside her, dad nodded.

“It was nice meeting you, young man,” dad said.

Dave let out a weird huff. “Not much younger than you.” He stood up, taking up his forgotten coffee cup and downing the whole thing in several large gulps.

“I hope your, um, movie stuff goes well.”

Dave nodded. “Yeah. You…” He paused, fixing his gaze on Jane’s eyes again. “You…take care.”

Jane jumped. “I-I will,” she responded, not entirely sure what she was talking about.

Dave looked at her for another few moments, then finally turned around and strode out of the café.

Jane stared at the door. What on earth had just happened?

*

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 18:06

GG: Oh hey! I’ve been looking for you!  
TT: Yeah? What did you want?  
TT: Sorry, I got kinda caught up working on this hand. The digits just would not fucking do what I wanted them to, even though the whole thing is, like, insanely more simple than all that other brain stuff I’ve finished up.  
GG: Oh really? I’ll take your word for it, hoo hoo!  
GG: But… actually something interesting kind of happened today!  
TT: Oh yeah?  
GG: I ran into your brother!  
TT: You  
TT: What?  
GG: Yeah! Just on the street, spied him walking by.  
GG: So I thought I’d say hello!  
TT: Oh.  
GG: …  
GG: Sorry if you don’t really want to talk about it.  
GG: I mean, I don’t really know what’s going on between you…  
GG: And I really wouldn’t want to pry or anything!  
TT: No, it’s fine.  
TT: So what happened?  
GG: We just talked for a little while.  
GG: About you, mostly. He did ask some questions about Roxy as well, though!  
GG: It seems like he really cares about you.  
TT: What did you tell him?  
GG: Um…  
GG: Is there something I shouldn’t have said?  
TT: No. Just wondering.  
GG: Well, just about you working on your new robot, and about your puppets and Lil’ Cal and all.  
GG: Oh, and orange soda. For some reason.  
TT: Huh.  
GG: Also, um…  
GG: He kind of had a message for you as well!  
TT: What kind of message?  
GG: Just…a message?  
GG: I don’t really know what you mean…  
TT: Well.  
TT: Okay.  
TT: What was it, then?  
GG: Just, um…  
GG: ‘I love you.’  
GG: It seems like he really thought a lot about what to say.  
TT: Oh.  
GG: …  
GG: You know…  
GG: If there’s anything going on or anything…  
TT: Huh?  
GG: Like…  
GG: If you’re having a fight or something…  
TT: What? No, no.  
TT: No, nothing like that.  
TT: Just.  
TT: He moves around a lot, y’know? We don’t see each other much.  
GG: Oh…  
GG: That seems really lonely.  
TT: It is, sometimes.  
GG: I never knew…  
TT: Sorry.  
TT: I didn’t want to make you worried about me or anything.  
GG: Hoo hoo, that’s silly!  
GG: We’re friends, right? We’re meant to worry about each other!  
TT: Heh, maybe.  
GG: Well…I don’t know.  
GG: If you don’t want to tell me anything, that’s fine.  
GG: But I’ll always be here to listen, you know? :B  
GG: Sorry, maybe I just sound nosy…  
TT: No, you don’t.  
TT: That actually sounds good.  
GG: Really?  
TT: Yeah.  
TT: I dunno. I think someday I’ll get to tell you everything.  
TT: Not right now, though.  
GG: Okay! I will wait patiently for that day, in that case!  
TT: Thanks, Jane.  
GG: Any time! :B

*


End file.
